“IF IT'S UNMENTIONABLE, IT'S UNMANAGEABLE...”

What parent hasn’t suffered the agony of hearing their child lament about being excluded from a birthday party or not being fast enough to make the soccer team? Simply, these are ‘Parent Speed Bumps’ experienced by everyone who has children. Knowing how to respond honestly and appropriately to these all too-common situations can be tricky and stressful for most parents.

On Tuesday, October 16, 2007, St. Mary of the Hills School PTO and Dolan Funeral Home sponsored an “Evening With Maria Trozzi,” an expert on family resilience and loss. Her talk spanned a variety of ‘Parent Speed Bumps’ encountered by the growing child. From exclusion, to divorce, to death, to disabilities (“the grief that keeps on giving”), Ms. Trozzi was able to help with the appropriate language and strategies for each of these situations. Coping mechanisms varied depending on the child’s developmental stage.

The audience was able to realize that their desire to jump in and rescue their child from hurt or loss may well be counter-intuitive to the child’s ability to develop effective problem solving skills independently.

Ms. Trozzi’s genuine warmth and understanding provided a wonderful, uninhibited and interactive forum for the evening. Her closings words, “if it’s unmentionable, its unmanageable” helped us to realize the importance of an open and honest dialogue, no matter what the situation.